Monthly Archives: February 2008

New Possibilities

Card of the Week
Tarot Lessons by Example
For the week of Feb. 24. 2008

Card: Ace of Wands
Deck: Illuminated Tarot
Key Words: Developing ideas, initiative, creativity
ace-of-wands

If you look hard enough, you can see gifts being offered from a higher source. Those gifts come from within you. Now is the time to look inward to see where your inner guides can take you.

It’s time to look at the creative endeavors you envision with eagerness and excitement, rather than fear and trepidation.

Whatever negative messages given you in the past, that may prevent you from having the courage to act on your ideas, are far removed from your current life. The safety and security you sought from other people are now things you are capable of giving yourself.

In seeing that you have too much growth between the past and the present, you can discard those messages and seek out advice from your own inner guides.

By looking inward, you can develop courage to develop your ideas, and the confidence to understand you are capable to complete any endeavor you embark on with resounding success and purity of purpose.

Once you open yourself to your ‘self,’ you open yourself up to new possibilities and a different way of looking at things. The next time you get an ‘epiphany,’ seemingly out of nowhere, you will be able to act on it, and manifest it, with excitement and purpose.


Symbols Used
— Castle: Safety, security (left side: may be influenced by family of origin)
— Clouds: Epiphany, bright idea ‘out of nowhere’, messages from the divine
— Budding Leaves (10): Potential to complete task
— Yods (8): Channelling divine energy to organize and manifest ideas

Colors Used:
Green: Regeneration, Growth
Purple: Spiritual insight & knowledge
Red: Action, purpose, will
Pink (cross between red & white): Purity in purpose


References:
“Pictures from the Heart: A Tarot Dictionary” by Sandra A. Thomson
— A. Venefica’s Tarot Teachings

Universal Waite® reproduced by permission of U.S. Games Systems, Inc., Stamford, CT 06902 USA. Copyrights © by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. Further reproduction prohibited.

Outstanding Orange

Key words: Warm, determined, authoritative, energtic, action; Compassion, harmony, sociability, harvest

Imagine yourself on a beach at sunset. An orange ball of flames sits on the horizon, it’s dominance in nature allows it to fill the sky with color. sunsetThis majestic sight, all at once, inspires awe at the determination with which it presents itself, and warms us in it’s presence. Orange is ruled by the sun, it’s symbol is fire and flames.

Yet as the sun warms, it can also burn. The sun represents our ego. While orange can represent our creative energy, it can also make us forget our need to be humble, making us overly prideful, restless and impatient with those around us.

As fire warms, it can also burn. The energy of flames is mesmerizing and meditative but, out of control, it can move impulsively and recklessly.

Sitting between red (Mars) and yellow (Mercury) on the color scale, orange doesn’t have the passion or aggression of red, but has a fiery, authoritative, determined, energy, giving us ambition, moving us to take action. Not quite reaching the airy happiness of yellow, it has a calm joy: a harvesting of the fulfillment we seek.

In that vein, orange is the color of the second chakra, which sits between the red root chakra and the yellow solar plexis chakra. The orange sacral chakra controls our sense of well-being & contentment.


To interpret orange in a tarot reading consider these connotations:

    Positive & Neutral Connotations:
    — Warmth
    — Energy, action
    — Sociability
    — Authority
    — Creativity
    — Harvest, fulfullment
    — Encouraged by new ideas

    Negative Connotations:
    — Lack of humbleness
    — Restlessness
    — Impatience
    — Impulsive action


Sample Interpretation with Orange

Deck: “Albano Mini”
Card: Ace of Wandsace-of-wands

A hand, holding a wand, emerges from a cloud in front of an orange sky. There is an excitement in the air (orange) about the growth (wands, green landscape) of a new venture (ace.) The (hypothetical) person this reading is for, is encouraged at the prospect of the venture and has the drive and determination to put any plan into action which will ultimately lead to the harvest of the fruits of their labor.

As always, choose one or two key words that are meaningful to you for that specific reading.


References:
“Pictures from the Heart: A Tarot Dictionary” by Sandra A. Thomson
“Color Magic for Beginners” by Richard Webster
A. Venefica’s Tarot Teachings
Diva Botanicals

Albano Tarot® reproduced by permission of U.S. Games Systems, Inc., Stamford, CT 06902 USA. Copyrights © by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. Further reproduction prohibited.

Gracious Green

Keywords: Growth, abundance, renewal.

Look around you. Green is growing. Trees are growing. Plants are growing. They grow as a part of the cycle of life.

foliage

After a drought, or after a long hot summer, and a long windter to supply the earth with nourashment (water = emotion) we see the sprouting of new growth, with all of it’s hope and potential.

It’s a fertile renewal of our faith that from the darkness springs light, from despair emerges hope, from famine flourishes abundance. It is a natural healer for the scorched earth. This gives us a feeling of peace and restfulness, releasing our tensions and healing our soul. On a physical level, this could mean financial growth or renewal.

Green is the color of the 4th, or heart, chakra. Four is the number of manifestation and stability. Guiding our heart, green presents us with not only the positive emotions of compassion and empathy, but negative ones, as well, (dingy green) of envy, greed, jealousy and suspicion.

Green corresponds with the planets of Mercury (communication) and Venus (love and relationships.) This, in relation to the heart chakra, represents communication in our relationships, which if properly conducted creates in those relationships all the things green represents: growth, harmony, and abundance of love.

Green also corresponds with Taurus, which supports the idea of stability, and the tarot card “Temperance” which indicates balance and tolerance.

To interpret green in a tarot reading consider these connotations:

    Positive &/or Neutral Connotations:
    — Growth, Cycle of Life, Regeneration
    — Abundance
    — Harmony, Balance
    — Hope, Healing
    — Finances, Potential
    — Reliability, Longevity

    Negative Connotations
    — Greed
    — Jealousy
    — Stubborness
    — Envy
    — Suspicion

As always, choose one or two key words that are meaningful to you for that specific reading.


Sample Interpretation with Green:

queen-of-wandsDeck: Universal Waite (Pocket Edition)
Card: Queen of Wands

This is a woman who has seen her share of hardship (queen=maturity, grey cloak=depression) but has had the courage and determination (lions) to learn from it (yellow=intellect) and is now in the process of growing (green spouts on the wand and sunflower stem) spiritually (wands) even if that’s all she has to hold on to.

The black cat at her feet represents the mystery of what is to come, her psychic ability in sorting out that mystery, and is her spiritual guide and companion on her journey.


References:

“Pictures from the Heart: A Tarot Dictionary” by Sandra A. Thomson
“Color Magic for Beginners” by Richard Webster

Universal Waite® reproduced by permission of U.S. Games Systems, Inc., Stamford, CT 06902 USA. Copyrights © by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. Further reproduction prohibited.

Romance Yourself for Valentine’s Day


Tarot Inspired Reflections
Learn to Read Tarot by Example

For the week of Feb. 10. 2008

Card: King of Pentacles
Deck: Universal Waite (Pocket Edition)

The same cards — over and over — Well, last week I spoke about repeating cards, so I’ll leave that alone today. Today I’ll mention how different the meaning of a card can be with relation to each card having both a positive and negative connotation, depending on the reading. king-of-pentacles

The last reading with this gentleman was less than positive, today he tells us this:

Indulge yourself this Valentine’s Day. Whether you are in a relationship with another person, or not, this is a day to honor your relationship with yourself.

So often this card presents us with a down to earth, practical message. But there’s more to this card than meets the eye. Both pentacles and green, which stand out to me here, are ruled by Venus. Did you know that every 8 years, Venus completes a cycle that moves in the symbol of a pentagram? What this tells me is that this day, as is everyday, is a day to honor our whole self: to bring it into balance.

And one of the ways to do that is by making Valentine’s Day as special for ourselves as we try to make it for others. So often we take care of ourselves only minimally. We make sure that our basic needs are secured, we live in the material world with what we need.

Too often, however, we fail to allow ourselves to indulge. We fail to look at ourselves as people who deserve to feel the sensuality and tactile response of beauty in our lives. Romance yourself as well as your partner, if you have one in your life.

strawberriesKnow that by doing this you open up your life to greater growth and potential because you bring all of the elements into balance: groundedness, communication, emotion & intuition, energy, and spirit.

So stroke your cat and really appreciate the softness of his/her fur. Indulge yourself with a chocolate covered strawberry and appreciate how decadent you can be. Put on soothing music and light candles, soak in the meditative quality of the flickering of the flame. If you have someone to share these things with, do so by allowing yourself to become enveloped in the refuge of their emotion. If you are alone on this day, do all of these things and romance yourself, because — you’re worth it.


Symbols Used

    • BULL/TAURUS: Material, tactile & sensual
    • PLANET:VENUS: Love, romance, sensuality & beauty, indulge your senses.
    • PENTACLES: Our body & the material world. What we perceive with our senses: Spirit (higher self), Earth (health, touch, stability), Air (communication, thought), Water emotions, intuition) & Fire (energy, creativity, love of life)
    • CASTLE: Refuge, safety, protection.
    • GRAPEVINES: Abundance, subconscious.
    • GREEN: Growth, potential, hope, healing. Ruled by Venus: Love, romance

Universal Waite® reproduced by permission of U.S. Games Systems, Inc., Stamford, CT 06902 USA. Copyrights © by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. Further reproduction prohibited.

Communication: The Key to a Healthy Relationship

The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it.
— Edward R. Murrow —

How to say it. Ah. That is the question. That is the difference between a fight and a conversation; between kids or animals running for cover and a quiet evening at home; between divorce and a happy marriage.

wedding_paintingThe importance of healthy communication cannot be underestimated. In this sometimes emotionally stunted society of ours, we have downplayed the importance of interpersonal communication to the point where it affects not only our own health, but the health of others. (In some cases, it affects your health because others are unwilling to communicate with you. — I will write on psychic vampires [those who suck your emotions dry] at a later time.)

Think about how many of the world’s problems could be solved with healthy communication. Think about how many of your own problems could be solved by healthy communication. Yes, but there’s the key word there — healthy communication.

We all communicate, it’s how we communicate which is the issue. How many people do you know who refuse to speak to someone because of their pride, or because they don’t want to get into a “confrontation.”

But not all communication to work out problems wind up in ‘aggressive confrontation.’ Some people just — talk. Who in your circle would you have a better relationship with if you were able to more effectively communicate with them if ego would allow? Your parent, child, friend, spouse, co-worker? How much better would you feel? How much would airing things out help your own health and well-being? How much more would it allow you to effectively meet the challenges of everyday life if you didn’t have emotions inside you simmering like a pressure cooker, or if you weren’t in a constant state of battle?

Certainly not everyone is experienced at win-win communication, and chances are if you are, you will eventually run into someone close to you who is not. Everybody has different communication styles. What is yours?

drawingNonassertion: The “inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings.” (Adler & Towne, 2004) This style stems from low self-esteem or lack of knowledge of other communication styles (ie: it was not modeled for them).

One form of nonassertion is avoidance. This can be either physically removing yourself from someone’s presence, or by simply refusing to talk about the issue by changing the subject, joking, etc.

Accommodating is also a form or non-assertion. Some people will simply ‘give in’ to avoid conflict. This is often a co-dependent’s solution, putting other’s needs above their own.

Non-assertion is not always a bad thing. There are times which you have to ‘pick your battles” — in a job, for instance — where speaking out may cost you your job, or where the relationship either doesn’t mean enough to you, or means so much that it’s too small of an issue. More often than not, however, people who are non-assertive either have too little confidence or don’t know how to ask for what they want.

Direct Aggression: Lashing out with attacks, whether it be verbal (character attacks, ridicule, etc.) or physical. This can be not only ineffective, but damaging to the target and the relationship.

Anybody who has suffered the effects of direct aggression can attest to the damaging effects it has on them as the target. Often it is committed by those who have such low self-esteem that they need to ‘feel bigger’ than the person opposite them. They do this by any type of attack that allows them to feel strong, when in reality, it weakens everything about the relationship they are communicating in.

The worst part of direct aggression is the ‘domino effect’ it produces. Words are powerful things. One aggressive comment can lead to defensive aggressive reactions. The idea is to allow your communicating partner to respond, not to push them into a corner by having to react.

Passive Aggression: The act of ‘pushing someone’s buttons,’ so to speak, with subtle verbal or non-verbal messages without confronting the person directly. Sometimes called “crazymaking” (Adler & Towne, 2003), this is one of the most difficult forms of communication to deal with if you are on the opposite end of it.

Passive aggression stems from a great amount of hostility and a severe need to control one’s own life without risking criticism. It may result in extraordinary resentment on the part of person at which the behavior is targeted, which can lead to a complete breakdown of the relationship, over a period of time.

illustrationPassive aggressiveness can come in many forms: people who avoid conflict altogether; those who say they understand your feelings but continue to act with the same intent; those who lay guilt trips on you; those who ‘hit below the belt’ with intimate knowledge they know will upset you; those who give you the ‘silent treatment’; those who make a joke about everything and those who tell you they will help you, but sabotage you in some way. If confronted, the passive-aggressive person often just denies intent.

An example of passive aggressive behavior might be a person who tells you they will help you get a job interview because they know someone, who then subtly sabotages the meeting in some way.

Passive aggression is never a good option for long-term results and can severely damage individuals and relationships.

Indirect Communication: Sending indirect messages through hinting, or a third party. This can be a way to avoid conflict by taking initiative, but without hostility, and might be a preferable option when one person wants to help the other “save face.” (Adler & Towne, 2004) Indirect communication is one of the most common ways people try to convey messages.

How many times have you ‘hinted’ to someone that you are ready to leave their party early by saying you have to work the next day, without having to tell them you aren’t having a good time? It saves face for them.

In the vein of avoiding confrontation, some people may send messages through other people. By making a comment about the target person to a third party, the target may or may not get the message but, if they do, they may feel that they have been ‘backstabbed,’ which starts a cycle of hostility which makes communication more difficult in the future.

While at times useful, the problem with indirect communication is that there is the risk that the intended target may not get the message. If the message is that important, a more direct, assertive, approach is necessary.

Assertion: The ability of the communicator to express their thoughts and feelings in a clear manner which does not undermine or attack the other person. Delivering your message, expressing what you want and feel, in a non-judgmental manner can be one of the most effective ways to resolve a conflict. If done appropriately, it minimizes defensiveness in the other person, allows them to clearly understand what you are saying or asking for, and is usually your best chance of resolving conflict with minimal damage.

Everybody may be capable (or culpable) of all of these behaviors at some point in time. The question is, do you recognize it and change it when appropriate, and how do you handle the behavior when it is targeted at you? How best do you present yourself in an assertive, non-confrontational style? There are some things you can do:

paintingRespect Boundaries: If you know that something is a ‘hot-button issue’ don’t throw it in their face. Disrespecting boundaries is one of the quickest ways to escalate a conflict.

Stay Focused on the Issue at Hand: Don’t bring up things from the past that have nothing to do with the current issue. This is very close to crossing boundaries. By staying focused you honor both you and your partner without mucking up the water. When you feel an issue veering off course, bring attention back around to the topic at hand.

Actively Listen: Listening is one of the most important, and sometimes one of the hardest things you can do. Some of the problems people have with listening are: thinking about what they will say next instead of listening and responding; getting defensive; interrupting. When people feel they aren’t being heard, they may feel that their feelings are being discounted and/or invalidated, which leads to more anger, and an escalation of the situation.

De-escalate: If you see the situation heating up, speak in a calm tone of voice. Repeat back to them what they have said so they know you listened to them and so both of you have a clear understanding of the intent of their message. If things are getting too hot and you feel you cannot calm it down, then take a break. Don’t storm out of the room, but calmly explain that you feel that things are too escalated and you are going to go into the other room so both of you can calm down. When you do leave, breathe.

Empathize: Try to see things from their point of view. It doesn’t mean you will agree with them, but if you at least can understand where they’re coming from, you have a better chance to acknowledge & validate their feelings so that both of you can come to a solution.

Use “I” messages: When speaking, use “I” messages rather than “you” messages. Don’t say “You always make me feel so unimportant”, say “When you forget to call when you won’t be home for dinner, I feel unimportant.” This way you are taking the responsibility for the feeling, but you are associating it with a behavior, rather than risking it sounding like an attack on them personally.

Admit your mistakes: When you recognize that you’ve made a mistake — admit it. There is nothing more maddening than someone who refuses to take responsibility for their own actions. Admitting a mistake and apologizing for it is a sign of strength, not one of weakness. It will clear the air and allow both of you to focus on a solution.

Change your response: One of the first rules of psychology is “if you want to change somebody else’s behavior, change your own.” In other words, if you respond differently, they will in turn change their behavior because they are not getting the response they expected. Many times, behavior is meant to do just that, elicit a certain response.

In rare cases you may run up against a person who is completely unwilling to communicate or is such a master manipulator that no matter what you do, they will find a way to start an argument with you, or make your life miserable. They may be so passive-aggressive that it just turns into ‘crazy-making,’ or they may simply flat-out refuse to acknowledge there’s a problem and refuse to listen or discuss the possibility of it at all. In these cases what are you to do?

The broad answer is, “Take care of yourself.” If you are being hurt by the situation, you need to take care of yourself, first and foremost. lotusThe method by which you do that, however, can only be found by your own introspection and assessment of how important that specific relationship is to you. If you are being hurt, and you have sincerely tried every option to stop the incoming behavior, you need to make some decisions about how important the relationship is to you.

But introspection is the start. To make the types of decisions you need to make in situations like these, you need to know yourself. Getting in touch with your own higher-self & spirituality has a healthy and calming effect on your life. Resolve to meditate, play, relax. Giving to yourself in a loyal, loving and devoted way can open up a communication process within yourself that may well protect you from psychic vampires as well as preventing you from becoming one.

Communication. It’s fundamental. It’s how we operate. By learning a few basic techniques, and by communicating with our own higher being, we can become more content, better equip ourselves to rise to the challenges of our everyday lives, and better communicate with others &/or understand how to deal with it, even when they won’t.


References:

Adler, Ronald, B., & Towne, Neil (2003). Looking Out Looking In. 10th ed. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth/Thompson Learning.

Adler, Ronald, B., Towne, Neil, & Proctor II, Russell F. (2003). Interplay. 9th ed. Oxford, NY: Oxford University Press.

Creating Strategies. (2008). Retrieved February 9, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://www.creatingstrategies.com/articles/communication_tips/deescalate_a_conflict

Stress Management: about.com. (2008). Retrieved February 9, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/healthycomm.htm

Caat is an intuitive advisor and has a master’s degree in human behavior.

For intuitive coaching for communication and relationship problems, see her Spiritcaat Page

Spirituality of Communication

Tarot reflection for the week of Feb. 3, 2008

Card: Two of Cups
Deck: Universal Waite (Pocket Edition)

Well how fascinating. This is my 7th ‘weekly reflection’ and 3 times out of those 7 times I have drawn the Two of Cups.

two-of-swords There is a lesson here. Every week, before drawing a card, I ask my guides and the universe to let me draw a card which will give me information which all who read it will relate to.

I see this card about relationships. In “Christmas Contemplation”, I spoke about appreciating family over commercialism during the holidays. In “The Power of Mana” I spoke about how bettering ourselves, in turn, will improve our relationships.

Today goes along with that, it’s about communication & our relationship with our inner-self. But before I go on, I want to make the point about recurring cards. Twos indicate duality, choice and decision. How many times do we see a sign time after time but ignore it? We simply pass it off as ‘coincidence.’

But these things are not coincidence. It is the universe’s way of giving you a subtle message about something. By using the tarot, we have a symbolic tool at our disposal to keep after us about something we need to be looking at. In that way, it can be not only a spiritual tool, but a therapeutic one, as well.

Now, I could easily look at this card and say, “Well, this is trying to tell me something about my life, and that is indeed part of it — but only part. I say this because the only time I’ve been re-drawing this card is when I sit down to write a reading for you — my readers. I actually have had a recurring card for myself in the past couple of weeks, and that card has been “The Hermit,” not the Two of Cups.hermit

So, I feel that the universe is trying to tell me something that I need to express to you, as well as myself, or I would be pulling this card in my personal readings, as well. Obviously this comes through my own filter, but I have made the decision to write these contemplations for the benefit of all who read them.

Today blue is standing out to me. Not only is the sky blue, but the woman in the card has a brilliant blue cloak on. Blue is the color of the 5th chakra, the throat chakra, which represents communication. And that what the theme of this card is today: “Communication.”

The importance of communication cannot be underestimated. We have an orange winged lion hovering overhead, attached to a caduceus, the symbol of health. What this is saying to me is that for far too long in this sometimes emotionally stunted society of ours, we have downplayed the importance of interpersonal communication to the point where it affects not only our own health, but the health of others. (In some cases, it affects your health because others are unwilling to communicate with you. — I will write on psychic vampires [those who suck your emotions dry] at a later time.)

Think about how many of the world’s problems could be solved with healthy communication. Think about how many of your own problems could be solved by healthy communication. Ah, but there’s the key word there — healthy communication.

illustration We all communicate, it’s how we communicate which is the issue. How many people do you know (are you one of them?) who refuse to speak to someone because of their pride, or because they don’t want to get into a “confrontation.”

But not all communication to work out problems wind up in ‘confrontation.’ Some people just — talk. Who in your circle would you have a better relationship with if you were able to more effectively communicate with them if ego would allow? Your parent, child, friend, spouse, co-worker? How much better would you feel? How much would airing things out help your own health and well-being? How much more would it allow you to effectively meet the challenges of everyday life if you didn’t have emotions inside you simmering like a pressure cooker or if you weren’t in a constant state of battle?

Certainly not everyone is capable of win-win communication, but chances are if you are capable of healthy communication, you will eventually run into someone close to you who is not. The question is how do you handle it?

The answer can only be found by your own introspection, but that introspection is a start. Getting in touch with your own spirituality has a healthy and calming effect on your life. Resolve to meditate, play, relax. Giving to yourself in a loyal, loving and devoted way can open up a communication process within yourself that may well protect you from psychic vampires as well as preventing you from becoming one.

Communication. It’s fundamental. It’s how we operate. By communicating with our own higher being, we can become more content, better equip ourselves to rise to the challenges of our everyday lives, and better communicate with others &/or understand how to deal with it when they won’t.


Symbols Used

• Blue: Communication, calmness, introspection, spirituality
• Blue Garment: loyalty, love, devotion, compassion
• Caduceus: Healing, Communication
• Orange: Determination, well-being, contentment
• Sun (rules orange): Meets the challenges of everyday life
• Two: Duality, choice, decision
• Winged Lion: Transmutation from lower self to higher self

Montel Williams loses his job

I know this isn’t about tarot, but I’m so mad I had to post it. Notice how Fox keeps showing clips of Ledger, even though Williams is talking about the troops in Iraq.

Although they stated they were going to have another segment with him, they didn’t. He immediately lost his job after 13 years on the air. Quite a democracy we live in, huh?

For a more in depth statement, go to the Daily Kos.